When I first moved to LA almost 16yrs ago, plenty of well-intentioned people gave me advice on how to survive Los Angeles and all I heard was: be everything you're not. I was so impressionable in my 20s that I took it all in and lost myself. I became confused. 

But it didn't start there. I've spent many years abandoning myself. As a young child, I wanted to be more like my favorite pop stars, more like my favorite actors, even my favorite characters in films/books. I wanted to look more like (fill in the blank), I wanted to live like (fill in the blank), I wanted to be like my favorite teacher, I wanted to be like the cool kid at school, and I forced myself to be an extrovert - to be liked - when really, I'm an introvert. I didn't even know I was an introvert for the longest time. Sad but true. I wanted to be everyone but me.

I became so disoriented/overwhelmed in LA with who I "should" be that eventually, I just gave up on being anything and anyone. Just be me. And that's when I started to thrive. That's when my life changed. Once I stopped abandoning myself. Once I accepted that I am enough, just as I am. That's when I experienced peace and confidence. It hasn't been time wasted as I've experienced/discovered/grown/matured. But it was a long and roundabout way of arriving back at myself... I no longer put people on pedestals. It creates the illusion that others are more important or better or more special. It creates separation. Inferiority and insecurity comes from the ego too. 

And just like me, each and everyone of you/us - are enough. Just as you are. Yes, you. May this share, bring you peace. None of us came here to be a copy, a duplicate, a wannabe. May you be, who you came here to be and bless the world with your beingness. Love you. 

Rejection of Feelings

I'm teaching my son that it's okay to feel all of his feelings. That we as humans get to experience a vast array of emotions. We label them as "good" or "bad" but they are neither. They are just feelings. All they want is to be acknowledged and felt. And when we hold space to feel, they move through us like passing clouds... and all is well. 

Part of the human experience is to feel. So let the feels feel. No need to hold on, maintain, sustain or repress or deny. I share with him that many people have problems when they reject their feelings: Their human experience. And he doesn't need to do that. 

Crying is not weak. Crying is simply a release of emotions. A purge. We cry when we are sad, we cry when we are happy. We cry when we are in pain, we cry when we are enraged. We cry when we are afraid. We cry when we are overjoyed, overwhelmed, ecstatic, moved, inspired. It's okay to cry. It's part of the human experience. And he is a beautiful human.

Loneliness

Loneliness has nothing to do with partnership and everything to do with relationship with the self. Loneliness comes from an accumulation of abandoning, rejecting, neglecting the self. Not listening, not valuing, not honoring the self: your truth. Loneliness cannot be cured by others. If you find yourself wanting a relationship because you are lonely, it is best to fill your own "love bucket" by doing all the things you want to do, for yourself. When you become responsible for your wholeness and completion, you will no longer attract others who abandon, reject and neglect you. You won't need them to compensate that which you refuse to do for yourself. For everyone mirrors your relationship with your self. The cure for loneliness is you, and no other. Whatever it is you want a partner to do for you - you get to do it for yourself.