When I was growing up, I would get excited about things and if they didn't turn out the way I wanted them to, I would feel really disappointed. Then eventually, I stopped myself from feeling excited because the possible disappointment was too much to bear. The disappointment was too painful. If I didn't get so excited, I wouldn't become so disappointed.

My excitement was conditional. It depended on the outcome and the results of what I wanted. It came with expectations. I know I'm not the only one. Then I had a child, and I saw him going through the same experience. And I got to learn, from guiding him, that you, I, we, get to feel excited, regardless of the outcome, regardless of the results. The outcome really doesn't matter.

Most things we do in life are motivated by creating/manifesting a specific result. But what if, the perceived outcome was a mere backdrop? An illusion set in place to activate movement towards it? It's not the result that defines you. It's who you become and what you strengthen/develop while achieving your results - that's what defines you.

Can you allow yourself to feel excitement regardless of the outcome, regardless of the result? Can you allow yourself to feel excited and release the expectation? Because even when things "don't work out," they are "working out," for us. Not for our egos, but for our highest good. And if you can let go of needing to depend on the results or the outcome, you can invite excitement back into your life. And you get to feel excited - no matter what.

Attending your ex-husband and girlfriend's baby shower is not the easiest decision to make. Pride and ego kicks in. We tell ourselves, it's fair to feel hurt: resentment, anger, shame. It's too weird to go and a thousand other victim stories and outdated beliefs that serve nothing but the ego. But when we as women choose to be the kind of woman who shows up for other women, we break the cycles of our ancestors and create new (healthier) patterns for ourselves and a new freedom for our descendants. It's a win-win for all. And I'm so honored to show up and support Dionna Chambers who graciously helps raise and shape my son's future. I'm grateful for this opportunity to give (and show) my ex and his girlfriend my blessings. I'm proud to be a woman who lifts other women up. And I get to be the type of woman who inspires me. In this action, in this choice, I get to to live an inspired life and be the kind of woman I've always wanted to be. And last but not least, I get to set myself and her free.